When trying to comfort a friend or family member who is going through a difficult time, there are never enough words. When we are at a loss for words to express our condolences, taking the time to send a meaningful note, card, or letter is one way to add a more personal touch to our expression of sympathy. There are various ways in which condolences can be communicated. A written note offers the opportunity to express sympathy for a friend or family member’s loss, pay respect to the person who has passed away, and understand the pain that this causes. A simple note is not only an individual approach to convey comfort, but also a personal way to show support for families during the most important time of need.

When it comes to composing a message of condolence, being authentic, compassionate, and sincere are the three most crucial qualities to keep in mind. Be conscious of the fact that the process of grieving is distinct for each individual, and steer clear of platitudes such as “it was for the best” or “everything occurs for a reason.” In your letter, be direct and allude to the person who has passed away by name. When someone who is grieving hears or says the name of the deceased, it can be a source of comfort and also serve as a reminder of the deceased person’s existence in the world.

Include a phrase in your letter of condolence that concisely says the obvious in response to the unfortunate event that prompted you to write the letter in the first place. It is OK to express condolences by saying something like, “I’m so sad to hear that your mother passed away.” You might use language such as “passed away” or “transitioned,” but don’t be afraid to be honest. Depending on your audience, you might use language such as “passed away” or “transitioned.”

You may feel the need to keep your letter simple and general in order to avoid overwhelming the person who is mourning; yet, you should make an effort to highlight something unique about the person who passed away. Your letter of condolence will come across as much more emotional and special if you include specific personal facts in it.

Remind your close friend or member of the family of the positive attributes they possess. It is normal to have feelings of disorientation, helplessness, and isolation when one is going through the stages of grief. In your letter, jog the bereaved person’s memory about the positive characteristics and strengths they possess that may assist them in coping with their loss or making them feel loved and supported. You may remind them of their faith, hope, resiliency, optimism, or other positive qualities they possess.

In your letter, don’t be afraid to mention one of your most cherished moments spent with the person who has passed away. These memories have the potential to provide the bereaved with solace, joy, and a sense of connection, and this is especially true if the memory is one that the bereaved person has not previously heard.